Eating another hamburger

July 1, 2014 on 2:41 pm | In geeky | No Comments

Remember this hamburger I ate? No? It's alright, why would you. Anyway, the previous one has a big brother. One that is quite angry about what was done to the little one.

Well, foolish as I am, I decided to accept the challenge, and went head to head with the behemoth. Not only is the Ultimate Death Burger more laden with hot sauces, the rules are also more strict.

The first rule: only 20 minutes time to complete the meal. The burger is accompanied by a set of fiery french fries. This means that there is not a lot of room for breathers. Fortunately for me, I'm usually quite fast eater. I went through the fries in a bit shy 5 minutes, and continued onto the burger itself. The burger was quite smooth sailing until about halfway through, when the second rule started to play a role.

The second rule: only one pint of water allowed. After the halfway mark, my mouth felt like it was in flames, and I needed to quench the fire in between bites. Well, that was at first. But one bite later, my mouth would not agree to swallow the napalm like substance, and I needed to fool it with the water. Because water supply was so scarce, it was a delicate balance to have just the right amount. Nevertheless, to my great surprise, I managed to slay the beast, which is when the third, ultimate rule showed its head.

The third rule: Stay seated for 10 minutes. No extra water, no milk, and definitely no vomiting. The seconds on the timer were not running, or even walking. They made snails seem hasteful. Before the time was up, my fingers were numb, and I was generally disoriented. I had a pint of water ready and after what seemed like eternity I got to try to quench the fire within with it. Little use it was, and immediately after the water mixed with the hellish contents of my stomach, it quickly overthrew any opposition that was still holding onto the nutrition, and I quickly had to excuse myself.

So all in all the feat was successful. Painful, moot and stupid, but nevertheless a success. Unfortunately I didn't even get a t-shirt. Only my name on a sheet of paper.

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